Fear, Anxiety, Worry, Amazement, Relief, Joy

Apache Junction, AZ  High 85  Low 59

I don’t really remember having much fear or anxiety as a child. That was a time of innocence.  During the teen years I had the normal anxieties of passing tests in school or wondering if I would ever get asked to the Prom.

Then I started to work and I actually only had a few moments of anxiety on job interviews because I didn’t change jobs very often. Now job performance reviews were something else.

Also had more than my share of anxiety wondering if I’d ever find the right guy. Took me a long time to find him but I got me a keeper. Well worth the anxiety.

Then we had a son. Fear, anxiety, and worry became my constant companions. Along with an incredible and amazing love that I had never understood before. Guess I’m going to have those around until I leave this ole earth.

Now we face the fears and worries of old age along with medical problems. Jim had his PET scan on Friday and the anxiety and lack of sleep builds to a crescendo until you finally see the oncologist. As you sit in the waiting room, you see all those around you who are fighting this terrible disease – some with strength and laughter, others struggling with their fears.

You are lead into the room to wait for the doctor and try to distract yourself with a book or by playing a game on your phone. Then the doctor walks in, pulls up your test results on his computer, and, in our case, grab hold of each other in joy.

Jim is still cancer free. The relief that washes over you is incredible. Tonight we will be able to sleep again.